Dear (ex) Employer (thank the lord),
Here is what I think of you……
You seem to suffer from a disease of the brain. Stupidity and hotheadedness doesn’t cover it. You are a little man with delusions that you are some sort of God, clever and powerful and respected by all. How wrong you are. This is characteristic of your syndrome, ‘little man syndrome’.
Firstly, you are not clever. All of your letters have to be rewritten before sending, and everyone who reads your pathetic attempts laughs at you behind your back. Our favourite example of your illiteracy and inability to talk properly is your constant use of the word Pacific, when you mean specific. Also, there is no such thing as a learning circle, and your inappropriate overuse of the word ‘organic’ in every sentence because you think it makes you sound clever is just laughable.
Secondly you are not powerful. You confuse this term with ‘wealthy’. Having money that has derived from you conning vulnerable young adults out of extortionate amounts of money to live in leaky, mouldy hovels your dad acquired with a few pennies before you were born, does not make you powerful. People see that you have money, and perhaps conduct business with you because of this fact, but not because you have any power or control over them. These same people laugh at you behind your back and comment on your incompetence at the simplest tasks, and speak of your aggressive outbursts as though you were merely an irritating fly. You think you are the most important person in Leeds, that your empire will expand and you will become even more highly respected than you already think you are. I wish you luck with that. You may have the resources, but this also requires a brain, contacts, luck and popularity. Left to your own devices you would run your own business into the ground, and I sincerely hope this happens one day.
All you are is a nasty, bitter little man. You paid everybody else the week before Christmas. You paid inexperienced staff 50% more than you said you’d pay me despite my 7 years of experience, because the inexperienced one has fake boobs. Shallow.
But here’s where karma comes into play. I have acted above board throughout, doing my job really well, being punctual, working overtime, acquiring business, giving you notice even though you never gave me a contract, and leaving graciously without a bitter word. You on the other hand, have not paid me yet, despite your handwriting being all over the payslip you sent me, saying you would pay me on 27th December. That’s nasty in itself, when everybody else gets paid before Christmas, but then not paying me AT ALL, despite this evidence, that’s just sloppy. You think you’ve won, sat on that beach in Dubai with your family, but you haven’t, yet. I have enough to take you to court and sue the pants off you. And I intend to.
Karma is a bitch, and I love her for it.
Happy New Year, arsehole.